My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
To me during the past 3 weeks, these words of Jesus have expressed the rock bottom of the human experience. And this experience may well be common in some degree to all of us at points in our lives.
I don’t use the word “forsaken” much; but I understand its close relatives: loneliness. Abandoned. Deserted. Not just alone, but left alone. All alone.
Some people point out that these words of Jesus are found in the first verse of Psalm 22. And they go on to point out that that Psalm ends in victory.
I get that, but it doesn’t soften Jesus’ words to me.
It was dark. And in the dark, he shouted. Questioning the Father. Out loud, where everyone nearby would hear it. Out loud, so it would be recorded for everyone since.
It’s a “where are you, God?” prayer. It’s a prayer I’ve made this way:
“I did everything you asked me to do, God. I checked and doublechecked to make sure I was following you. I carried out the plan carefully and obediently. And you led me here? To this place? Where things don’t end up as I wanted? Where life doesn’t turn out like it should? Where everything doesn’t have an instantaneously happy ending? Where are you, God?”
Friends this year prayed these words when they lost a 12-year old niece to cardiomyopathy.
And I suspect every member of my family has or will one day pray a “where are you, God” prayer. Even right now, I suspect some of them have been saying “Where are you, God, in this job market?” “Where are you in the midst of chronic pain I shouldn’t be experiencing at age 19?” Where are you when I don’t have many friends? “Something’s gotta give.”
I don’t know if I should or not, but I take great comfort in these words of Jesus. It must be okay to question the Father in my pain and suffering.
As the past weeks went on, I wondered, “what would it be like if Jesus had not felt this way?” If the “opposite” had happened: If he had not said these words.
I didn’t arrive at any easy answer for that. But I thought about it long enough to wonder what the “opposite” of “forsaken” is. And when I saw that it was “cherished, held dear, treasured, wanted,” it was then that I knew why he felt this way and why he said these words.
I am not forsaken at all. I am truly loved.