Beloved
And did you get
what you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved,
to feel myself beloved on the earth.
(Raymond Carver, Late Fragment)
Without the movie Birdman, I would probably never have seen this poem by the late Raymond Carver. But the Oscar-winning director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu put it right up front at the beginning of the movie. I loved the quote at the beginning of the movie. And I loved it after the movie because this desire -- to be known and loved -- permeates human life.
This morning at breakfast, Frank shared with us his one-year anniversary thoughts -- to be clear, it was his anniversary of deliverance from a debilitating, life-threatening condition. And, a condition that was, to some extent, of his own making.
Frank gave each of us a special coin, like a military coin, only this coin was about the Armor of God from Ephesians 6. Someone gave it to him a year ago as he set out on his journey of deliverance. And he gave one to each of us to thank us for being a band of brothers on his journey and spiritual awakening.
I know how Frank feels. I, too, was alone a few years back. I didn't so much struggle to feel loved, as much as I struggled with the thinking that I don't need anyone or anybody to help me. I didn't need a village. No band of brothers necessary. Or at least I thought so.
I was wrong.
Since joining my band of brothers, colors have returned to life, bringing glory to the light.
I can call myself beloved.
I feel myself beloved on the earth.
I've always been beloved of God, as all men and women are.
Nouwen and Manning, in particular, reminded me often of this. But all too often we can't see it. It's hard to believe that we can see it easier when we live in true community with others. But it's true. My prayer for my kids and Linda is that they will each find the community that gives them that same joy -- the joy of finding oneself beloved by God, beloved by others, beloved by themselves.
Thanks be to God.
AMDG